Parents often face the problem that in adolescence children become more confined, unruly, and deliberately contradict adults. Often this occurs due to the fact that parents are too worried about their children: for their safety, or, for example, academic performance. But children have already grown up and are learning to take responsibility for their decisions.
Teenagers would like to ask their parents for advice on how to better implement their own ideas and decisions. They want to communicate with their parents "on an equal footing." But often parents, worried about their children, try to control all the actions of teenagers. Children, counting on the help of their parents, face many prohibitions and perceive this as distrust. Therefore, it is necessary and very important to find the strength to admit that your teenager has already grown up and deserves to talk with you in "adult language."
Recommendations to parents
Of course, everything depends on the specific situation and the method of influence on the teenager must be selected individually. We offer several options:
- Create an unusual situation when a teenager expects resistance, distrust on your part, and in return receives sincerity and help in solving his issues.
- Support one of the teen's hobbies, show interest in hobbies and hobbies.
- To establish a family tradition, when the family, gathering together in the evening, shares the events that happened to each of them during the day.
Advice from a psychologist to teenager parents of adolescents
- Appreciate the frankness of your children, sincerely take an interest in their problems.
- Communicate on equal terms, the tone of the order will not work in your favor. Make it clear that you understand them.
- You can't make fun of them, ridicule feelings, diminishing their significance. Try to treat your children with respect, remember their vulnerability and vulnerability.
- Do not be annoyed and do not show aggressiveness, be calm, restrained. Remember that your rudeness will provoke their response.
- Do not talk about the object of your child's fascination with a dismissive, offensive tone, thereby you humiliate him.
- In no case can you roughly and categorically break the relationship of adolescents, because they only learn to communicate with each other and most often do not even think about anything bad.
- Invite his (her) friend (s) to you, meet - this will allow you to get an objective, more plausible, rather than unfounded idea of who your child is dating. It is better if you allow them to meet at home so that they do not have to look for random and dubious shelters for dating.
- Tell them about yourself, your first love story - this will help you find mutual understanding with the child.
- If you are able to establish friendly relations with him, you will be able not only to control his behavior, but also to influence his actions.
- Remember that, on the one hand, a teenager is in dire need of parental assistance, facing many problems, and on the other, he seeks to protect his inner world of intimate experiences from unceremonious and gross invasion, and he has every right to do so.
What should NOT be done about a teenager?
- Do not disrespect yourself or be rude to a teenager.
- Do not demand immediate and blind obedience, use threats, or humiliate children.
- Do not start talking with accusations and do not interrupt when the child explains his actions.
- Do not bribe a teenager or extort by force a promise not to do what you do not like.
- Do not depart from the rules and traditions introduced in the family, except in unusual cases.
- Do not be jealous of your son or daughter, accept from your home and try to get to know each other.
- Do not give a negative assessment of the object of attention